Just To Get To Him

Well, I guess it's time I closed out my Baby blog, as Baby Alex is now officially a part of the family.  He's doing great and adorable, and I wish I could just hold him all day.  Unfortunately, just like his big brothers, he's got jaundice and has to be on home phototherapy right now, so we can't snuggle like we want.  We're hoping and praying it gets better very soon, so we can get back to our regularly scheduled cuddles!

This has been quite a journey.  I'm still very sore and exhausted, and I'd forgotten how exhausting and stressful those first few days at home could be.  I wouldn't wish a C Section on anybody, because it makes things just that much more difficult.  I can't get up and go and pick up the baby and handle stuff around here like I could had we had a vaginal birth.  But that's why my sister and Hubby are here, so I'm going to sign off and have a nap!

I'm so blessed with my newest little bundle of joy, and I couldn't love him more.  I'd gladly suffer through it all over again just to get to him.

Not Exactly the Birth Story I Planned!

Well, Baby Alex certainly did things his way, and his way was so much more complicated than we were expecting!  He waited an extra week past his brother's dates, coming at 37 weeks, 3 days, rather than 36 weeks, 3 days.  And that was just the start!

So, last Thursday afternoon (Jan 8^th), I’d decided that I was done with the false labor that had gone on for 3 days and 2 nights at that point with no progress.  I was done with the discomfort, the aches and pains, and heartburn, and the lack of sleep.  I was done, done, done being pregnant. 

So, my sister and I and the kids went walking in the mall.  We walked and walked and let the boys play and let Daughter shop a little.  But my main motivation was just to get this labor going ASAP!

Well, sure enough, I woke up Friday morning and went potty and noticed some bleeding and other “stuff” (to be delicate about it).  Lots of “other stuff.”  But it was the bleeding that worried me, because I’d already lost my mucus plug days ago.  My hubby was getting the kids ready for and off to school, and my sister was at a doctor’s appointment with my Dad to get a procedure done where he would be sedated, so he needed her to drive him.  So, I told Hubby about it and texted my sister who asked what color the blood was.  Well, at that time, I felt more very noticeable, um – stuff, being expelled and went potty again and saw that the bleeding was bright red.  NOT good…

So, we called the doctor who told us to go on the OB assessment and get checked out.  Hubby got the kids all off to school and by the time we got to OB assessment, I was already at 5 cm, but my water hadn’t broken yet.  So the OB nurse called the doctor who said to go on and admit me.  We were going to have a baby!!

We got into the room and proceeded to just wait.  I wasn’t having real bad contractions, although I’d had some back labor overnight (again).  I was really OK at that point, until the midwife came in awhile later and wanted to go on and get the Pitocin started, and get the baby born.  By this time, like I said, I was over it, and I certainly wasn’t going to go home and wait it out!  So, they started the Pitocin,  broke my waters for me, which were behind the baby’s head and wouldn’t break at first (ouch!),  (and when they finally did break, my nurse let me lay in that for an hour or so, just for fun, I guess, even though I told her twice I needed to be cleaned up).  However, within maybe an hour and a half or so– I was at 10 and ready to push!

 Now, once they started Pitocin, I knew my hopes for a natural, epidural free labor were over.  Pitocin contractions hurt.  Things were really starting to hurt at that point.  So, I went on and asked for the epidural.  Well, the young gun they sent in there seemed competent enough, even though I told him once it was placed that it wasn’t working on my right side.  So, he gave me more medicine (I think), and they placed me on my right side to let it numb up.  And it numbed up OK, although it certainly wasn't the blessed pain relief I'd wanted.  It never did seem to numb as well as the left side did.  But it was enough for me to start pushing, which is what the midwife had me do next!

And this is when things started to go a bit sideways.  Apparently, unbeknownst to us, Alex was “OP” (opposite position).  In other words, he was facing up in the birth canal and couldn’t move through it.  Now I don’t know if he’d turned or if he’d been that way the whole time, but it became increasingly apparent, as I pushed a couple more times, that he wasn’t coming out that way, and each time I tried, his heart rate would go down.

So, here is where I have the biggest problem  with my labor:  at that point, it was about 1:00 PM or so.  My midwife went off duty at 1:00, so another midwife from another practice was covering (that I’d never met before in my life).  This midwife called my OB and was told that she wasn’t on yet and they needed to call the other office OB (both of whom I’ve been before and both have delivered my kids).  Well, rather than doing that, they decided to keep me on my right side, with my left, numbed leg up in a stirrup, and hope that the baby would “turn” on his own, and I could push him out…

Now, keep in mind, I’m dilated to a 10, fully effaced, having regular contractions, ready to push, and there I sat, stuck in the stirrup, waiting for this baby to miraculously turn himself into the right direction…

What I really think is that the midwife didn’t want to call the other OB, because she’s can be a bit hard nosed, so she wanted to wait until the "nicer" OB came on at 4:00 or 5:00.  So….I was there for about 2 or 3 hours, can’t really be sure…”waiting for the doctor to arrive…”  (Who, for some reason, had to “go home and get her scrubs.")

Well, I began to notice a problem.  I started hurting.  On my right side.  I was feeling contractions again, stuck there, heiney in the air, leg in the stirrup, not a nurse or medical worker to be found in the room…  First time I've labored and the medical personnel haven't stayed in the room with me.  So I called the button and told them I was hurting.  A few minutes later, my nurse comes back in and says that the midwife told her not to numb me up anymore because then I wouldn’t be able to feel when to push.  BUT, she could take me out of the stirrup because the doctor was nearly there.

By the time I was back on my back, I realized that the pain was no longer located just on the right.  It was spreading back across both sides….and I’m 10 cm dilated, ready to push, having contractions one on top of the other…

Y’all – seriously more pain than I’ve felt in my life.  I was crying it hurt so bad and asking for demarol or something to take the edge off, since they wouldn’t come in and put more meds in my epidural.  Being told to hold on, hold on, hold on.  Well, by then, the OB finally arrives and decides they should probably call anesthesia again to bump up the epidural…

So another anesthesiologist comes in, takes one look and says, “Well, no wonder the epidural isn’t working.  The pump is off!”

OMG, y’all – if I hadn’t been nearly hysterical by now with the pain, I would’ve been cussing out the whole room.  WHO DOESN'T NOTICE THAT THE EPIDURAL PUMP IS OFF DURING A WOMAN'S LABOR!!!  There were 3 - 5 medical personnel in that room at various times over those hours, and nobody notices this????

As it was, they had him bump up the meds again (and turn on the pump, presumably), but it was time to start pushing now because the doctor was there – so no waiting for me to numb up again.  So, I start pushing through these contractions, y’all, and I have to tell you, there are just no words…  Alex would not BUDGE.  He was STUCK, and still dropping heart rate with each push.  So, the OB decides to try the vacuum.  Now, I couldn’t see what was going on, because the midwife had given me a towel to pull on to help me push (she pulled one end while I pulled the other), and my legs were draped.  But Hubby said that doctor was really pulling on the baby’s head with all her might when the vacuum popped off.

So – they tried it again… And again....and again.

Again, had I not been so consumed with trying to get this baby out, I would never have stood for it.  But when the vacuum continued popping off, and the baby kept dropping his heart rate dangerously low – it was time for my emergency C Section.  They wheeled me into the OR and literally had the baby out within just a few minutes.  It was scary for me, but I was also just exhausted and hurting and just ready to be finished.  They put me under general anesthesia since my epidural was muffed up, so Hubby couldn’t even go in there with me.  And my poor sister, who’d come all the way down here to be there for the birth was sent to the waiting area.   

But Baby Alex was born at 5:37 PM on Jan 9^th and was 7 lb 14 oz and 21” long!!!  Thankfully, he was healthy and OK, although he sported a nasty bruise on his little head for days.

I awakened a couple hours later and was able to do some skin to skin snuggling with him.  We spent Friday and Saturday nights in the hospital, where my husband continued to show me how loving and supportive and awesome he is, and we got home by 2:00 Sunday afternoon.

So, I’m recovering from this C Section and am confined to the house for 2 weeks.  I can barely move.  Baby Alex is a BEAST and eats ALL the time!!!  He’s really feeding well, and my milk is coming in, so I’m going to try to start getting some good flow going that I can pump into bottles for him. 

And I’m super thankful for my husband and my sister and for Daughter’s friends who were kind enough to pick her and the boys up from school Friday and let them spend the night, so we didn’t have to worry about that.

We are blessed.  I’m sore and exhausted and feel like I’ve been hit by a train.  But I’m blessed.  And I’m totally in love with this adorable little bundle of sweetness God has given us!

Frustration

So, once again, some very promising contractions 15 - 20 minutes apart last night turned into back labor that kept me up half the night, and now, this morning, not much is happening.  Overnight, I felt sure we were headed to the hospital soon.  Every 15 minutes or so I would wake up with back pain and pressure.  I kept timing it and telling myself to just wait it out, so we could get the kids off to school this morning without dumping them at my dad's house at 3 AM.  Finally couldn't go back to sleep with it about 6:15 this morning, so I got on up and got a good shower, handled all my hygiene for the morning, convinced that we'd start progressing.  And I am having irregular uterine contractions this morning, but they haven't become regular or timed yet.  My back still hurts, but it's more of a dull ache rather than the intermittent back pain of back labor - which I had a lot of with my first son, so I know how that feels.

Y'all, I'm ready to go to the hospital today and have a baby.  Please, please, please let these contractions commence and get stronger, so we can go...  I'm ready.  Hubby's ready.  We're all ready.  This kid has been doing this to me all week - let's get the show on the road!!!

Term Baby and Still With the Waiting

No baby yet.  He is officially considered full term, and both my midwife and I are surprised that he's still cooking.  "I didn't expect you to make it to this week's appointment," was the first thing she said to me yesterday.   Well, that made two of us (actually 4 of us, if you count my husband and sister who tagged along for fun).

I am just really, really uncomfortable.  It's difficult doing anything when just moving hurts.  (I know, I know, whine, whine, whine - other people have real problems.)  It's also difficult finding the energy to get motivated to do the stuff that need to be done, like laundry or housekeeping.  All of which we had "caught up" in anticipation of having a new baby at home, only to have to catch it all up again here in the next day or so, if he doesn't make his appearance.

Other than go to the doctor yesterday and pick up the boys from school, I didn't do anything.  Like, literally, nothing.  Except sit on the couch with my sister and time false labor contractions.  Oh, I did email my boss and tell her I'd like to go ahead and start my FMLA leave because I am hurting entirely too much to go sit at work for 4 of the next 5 days in 12 hour shifts.  I hope that decision doesn't come back to bite me in the butt if this kid actually decides to go to 40 weeks...

The midwife said I am basically sitting at the same place we were last week:  about 3 cm dilated, 70% effaced.  She also said he's now nearly fully engaged (which means his head is just about all the way down into the birth canal), and my cervix is soft and facing the front, which is apparently where it's supposed to be to get things started.  "We're teetering on the edge" of labor and just need that final push over...

Grand.

It occurred to me during last night's first bout with insomnia that if riding a camel to Bethlehem induced Mary to deliver baby Jesus, maybe I should look for a camel rental place around here somewhere...

Anyway, as you can tell, I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that this baby isn't the cut and dried 36 week water breakage delivery I've been planning for since my first positive pregnancy test.  It is conceivable, albeit unlikely, that he could go the full term, which means I could have 2 - 3 more weeks of this....and lose 2 - 3 of my already meager leave time from work.

BUT, as I said above, there are people with real problems in the world, and I am blessed to be awaiting a "blessed event," rather than something terrible, like a scary medical diagnosis or something.  I'm also blessed to have my Hubby and sister here to help me and commisserate appropriately with all my moaning and groaning.

Baby will be here eventually, and you better believe I'm going to tell him all about all the trouble he's caused.....after I'm done snuggling him, of course.

The Waiting Game

So....we're still waiting.  Baby Alex is making a liar out of me and the doctors, LOL!  If he doesn't come today, tomorrow makes 37 weeks, technically a "term" baby.  He'd be my one and only!  My sister wondered if maybe my dates were off for the last two pregnancies, which caused them to be pre-term.  My theory is that, since the 40 weeks is based on the first day of your last period and a 28 day cycle, but my cycle is usually 25 or 26 days - that could have thrown the due dates off by a day or two....but not a whole month both times, I don't think.  And I was very certain about my period dates because I was charting them both times on a calendar.  So - who knows?  Maybe Alex just needs a little more time to grow.

But y'all, I am so miserable and ready to be done with being pregnant.  I'm uncomfortable.  I'm huge.  I'm exhausted.  The most energetic thing I did all day today was pick up the boys from school and fold some towels.  Other than that, I'm basically useless.  I know the baby will come when he's ready, and I know I need to focus on something else besides every little twinge that could be a labor pain.  But that ain't easy with my 4 day work schedule staring me in the face in 2 days...  I honestly don't know how I'm supposed to do that since I'm so exhausted just sitting at home.  I'm going to talk to my doctor about it at tomorrow's appointment. 

On one hand, I could ask to go ahead and start my FMLA leave this week and cross my fingers that Alex will arrive in a day or two.  Unfortunately, though, I've only got 8 weeks saved up, and if I lose two of them waiting....well, that's less time with my baby once he's here.  There have been encouraging, positive signs that he's on his way, but until one of them involves either my water breaking or some definite, measurable contractions, they're fairly useless at predicting how long this is going to last.

Anyway, I want him to be healthy.  That's the most important thing.  And if I have to suck it up and go to work this week, I'll do what I have to do. 

But I will whine about it, LOL! 

Y'all bear with me, OK?

His Own Little Man

Well, it turns out that Baby Alex is going to be his own little man, indeed.  Our magical 36 week point has arrived.  The 36 week 3 day mark when both his brothers were born has come and gone.  Come Tuesday, if he doesn't show up, we'll hit what's considered to be a "term" baby at 37 weeks - my potential first and only.  And I am officially tired of waiting.  It's actually beginning to stress me out a little, and not just because I'm more miserable every day.  Mainly because everything in our lives right now is on hold waiting for this kid.  Hubby's job search is on hold.  Making any plans to do anything, even let Daughter go see a movie with friends or something, is on hold.  Everyone is on pins and needles waiting for the call.  I've been touting 36 weeks as "the end" of this pregnancy since the beginning, based on my previous two and on what the doctors have been telling me.  And, to be honest, my doctor in no way expects me to see 40 weeks, or even 39.  But I think I had just gotten to the point where I was "done" at 36, and now he seems to be perfectly content to stay in here and roll around and kick me and just keep on baking for who knows how long.

Yes, I know he'll come when he's ready.  Yes, it could be any time.  Yes, I don't have much choice but to wait.  I know all of this.  I'm just super ready to be not pregnant anymore.  I can't even comfortably turn over in bed anymore.  I was up at 6:30 this morning with a backache that I was desperately hoping was the start of labor, but I think it was just an "I'm carrying around a huge amount of weight on my front" backache.  An "I can't lie down anymore" backache.  Which really sucks, because I could've used another couple hours of sleep.

Anyway, yes, I'm complaining.  I obviously want him to stay in til he's ready and perfectly healthy, and if another week or two or three gets the job done, then I'll endure.  What choice do I have?  But I have hit that point where having this baby is ALL I can think about, and the thought of having to go back to work this week for my long stretch - 4 twelves in 5 days - exhausts me just to think about it.

I need to have this kid.

Y'all say a prayer or send out some positive thoughts for us, would you?