Pseudo Braxton Hicks

Well my sister alerted me to the fact that I had apparently had my privacy settings set to author only.  I have fixed that, so I hope y'all enjoy my random pregnancy nonsense.

In other news, I have a feeling that my much loved 12 hour shifts are going to be harder to handle while pregnant than my previous 8 hour desk job.  I noticed all day yesterday that my uterus was getting really, really tight at random points during the day.  Uncomfortably tight, and it would only loosen up when I sat down.  Non busy days shouldn't be a problem because I'm sitting much of the day, but when the unit is full, and I'm running around like a crazed madman all day, I don't think Baby likes that too much.  I did leave a message for my doctor's office, because all of that tightness felt an awful lot like Braxton Hicks contractions, which should definitely not be appearing at 5 weeks along.  I'm waiting for them to call back.

Other than that, I'm still mostly symptom free except for occasional queasiness here and there, random smell aversions (sorry, coworker with the shrimp for lunch yesterday), and, of course, the constant peeing.  Which is about to get even worse, because I'm making a conscious effort to increase my water intake significantly and cut out all sugar drinks - even diet soda.  I tried drinking one yesterday, and it really tasted bad, so that shouldn't be a huge challenge.

Anyway, I'm still looking forward to my first doctor appointment on June 17th.  I am hoping and praying everything looks good, and we have a safe, healthy, surprise free pregnancy.

Think Pink

So, I'm feeling a little nauseated and exhausted this morning.  There will be no more night shifts for me during this pregnancy, if I can help it.  I got in about 12:30 this morning, and the husband and kids had me up about 6:30.  EGGGSSSSS-hausted.  However, I think I'm also dehydrated because I only woke up for a potty break once or twice last night, whereas it's usually 4 or 5 times right now.  So I'm sucking down some watered down Kool-Aid and a cup of non fat yogurt to see if that helps.  It is so difficult finding the energy to do anything productive on mornings like this, so I just won't.  Unlike my last two pregnancies, I don't have to fit all my laundry and housekeeping into the two day weekend.  Plus, I have a teenager who owes me some money that she can work off.  I see quite a bit of vacuuming, dusting, and bathroom cleaning in her summer...

At any rate, other than that, baby and I seem to be OK today.  I will feel so much better after our doctor appointment, when I can see an ultrasound and see she's OK.  Yes.  I'm calling her a "she," and willing her to be a girl - even though, at this point, it's already been decided one way or the other.

Y'all think pink for us, will ya'?

Bladder, Beans, and Nausea

First of all, I'd like to report that my bladder hates me. 

Secondly, I'd like to report that eating bean soup, combined with already wicked pregnancy flatulence - at work - was probably not my best idea ever. 

Thirdly, other than aforementioned elimination issues, I'm feeling really good.  Tired, really tired.  But good.  I was up at least 4 times last night to pee, and I had forgotten how much I hated that.  I will also be investigating the safety of using Gas-X during pregnancy, as I still have an entire bowl of homemade bean soup which needs to be eaten.

I guess on Tuesday, I was officially 4 weeks along, and we were planning to keep the news to family only, until my hubby blurted it out to everyone at a work party last night.  I guess I need to speak to my boss today before she hears it via rumor. 

I think the nausea is getting a bit stronger, but it's not even close to debilitating yet.  I have to go to work from 3p - 11p tonight, so I hope it will remain manageable.

Not much else to report on the baby front today.  My doctor appointment is June 17th.  I have been trying hard to eat healthier, cut out sodas (even diet - especially diet), and eat more fruits and vegetables.  And beans, obviously.  I already feel like people think I'm too old and fat to be preggo.  I don't want to be just a huge blob!

Waking Up Pregnant

Oh, y'all.  I woke up pregnant today.  I mean run down, dragged out, exhausted, can't keep my eyes open pregnant.  I had forgotten about the "run over by a Mac truck" feeling of early pregnancy.  It was all I could do to drag myself downstairs and get Big Boy dressed and fed.  Ugh.  Plus, Hubby is on this lawn mower kick lately, which he keeps in the garage, so the entire house smells like gasoline.  I had to open windows first thing.  He has promised me to remove the mowers from the garage as soon as he gets home.  When my morning sickness hits, and I'm sure it will, that smell will do me in! 

But you know what occurred to me this morning, as I dragged myself downstairs to do just what HAS to be done?  At least I don't have to work today or tomorrow!  For my last two pregnancies, I had my "career" wherein I worked 8:00 - 5:30, Monday - Friday.  I had the weekends off to catch up housework and laundry, and I had to stumble through more mornings at work than I care to remember.  This time around is going to be so much different.  Not only do I work fewer days during the week, but I actually work at the very hospital where I plan to have this baby.  I know the people and the procedures.  And I'll have more time to just relax and enjoy this (my last) pregnancy than I ever had while rushing through my first two.  I'm so thankful for that.

Anyway, other than peeing more and more and having zero energy to do anything I'd planned to do today, I'm OK.  I sure wish Mom was here to help me.  But I'm so looking forward to having my sister close by within the next several months.  I can't even begin to enumerate all the ways she's going to be such a huge help - or how much I'll owe her that I could never hope to repay for loving and supporting us.

Anyway, today is going to be "do as little as possible" day.  Daughter has finals this week, so I'm going to go easy on her, but starting next week, I told Hubby she's going to be doing my household chores for the summer!  LOL!  Not only does she owe us a ton of money (long story), but she's perfectly able to help out, and I've got some baby baking going on.  She's got nothing else going on this summer except a couple of vacations and softball practice, which doesn't start til July anyway.

I need to go to the store for some fruit, veggies, and yogurt for this hungry baby.  I don't think this morning's scrambled eggs and oranges will last long.

My Choking Spell

So, I think I had my first smell aversion today.  Well, it wasn't really an aversion, so much as a choking spell.  I went to pick my daughter up from her mother's place, and they were cooking up crab legs with some kind of spices.  When I entered the living room and headed towards the kitchen, I started coughing, my eyes started watering.  It was quite awkward, as her mother was simultaneously trying to introduce me to her boyfriend.  At any rate, today has been pretty bland.  I had a bit of queasiness, but no real nausea.  I was hungry, but I am really trying to eat so much healthier.  I've decided to focus my food groups on the outer aisle of the grocery store and really cut back on the processed foods, snacks, and sugar in the middle.

Other than that, nothing much new on the baby front.  We told the boys tonight that there's a baby growing in mommy's tummy.  Little Man was excited.  Big Boy isn't so sure yet.  I think I'll need to continually reassure both of them that they're still my babies, too.  Big Boy will have a big adjustment to not being the youngest anymore.

Officially Official

Took another test this evening and got a very strong positive result.  We're officially expecting again.  Not that Friday's test was any less official, but it was very faint, and even though I knew I'd missed my period, I still like to see those super positive results.  I was reassured, also, because the line was so much darker, which indicates that my pregnancy hormone (hCG) levels are rising like they should.

So far, we're keeping the news in the family, having told our daughter, Hubby's sister, my sister, and my father.  We'll "go public" after my doctor appointment on June 17th.  My sister is thrilled, but she's known all along we were trying again.  Hubby's sister knew we were trying, but she hasn't acted very interested in the whole thing, so - I don't know.  I haven't gotten a response yet from my Dad, but I'm hoping he'll be happy to be adding another grandchild to his crew.  We are definitely hoping for a girl this time, but it'll be a few months before we know.

At any rate, I'm excited and a whole lot more paranoid this time around than I was with the last two.  Before I ever had any connection with pediatric healthcare, I didn't know anything about pediatric illnesses, diseases, and genetic conditions.  Now, I know too much, and being "advanced maternal age" doesn't help matters, either.

All I can do, though, is relax and pray for a healthy baby and do everything in my power to take care of myself and the baby while it's baking!

(((((((((((((((((((I can't believe I'm doing this again)))))))))))))))))))))

....AND.... the 98th Time is the Charm!

First Response was the test to go with.  Saw a faint, but much more noticeable positive this morning using that one!

May 16, 2014 - we're officially expecting our next (and final) little one!!!

Hoping for a girl, but I'd be happy with another little boy.  I like boys!  :)

I texted a picture of the positive test to my sister and asked her to keep it to herself for now.  I'd prefer to wait a few weeks, at least til after the first doctor appointment, before going public.  I don't know if Hubby will be able to keep his mouth shut, but we'll see.  I'm trying to think of a really cool way to tell him and the kids.  Of course, his sister is coming to town today, so it won't be today.  We're not quite ready to tell his parents yet, as we think they'll be less than thrilled.

In fact, I'm not even sure when I'll post these posts....we'll have to see.  But needless to say, I.AM.THRILLED!

And praising our Dear Lord for his blessing.  Praying for a healthy pregnancy and a safe delivery.

Still a Definite Maybe

So my "first morning urine" plan failed.  I still think I saw a faint shadowy plus sign (at 5:15 AM this time), but it was nothing you'd call definite.  So I'm off today to buy the First Response test, which is supposed to be the most sensitive test on the market.  Since I'm not sure (again) exactly what my cycle is doing, it's hard to determine exactly when my period is due.  If it's following the 22 day cycle, then it should've started Wednesday, which is when all this spotting started.  If the 25, then it's not due til tomorrow.  All of that to say, it's hard to know when to test.  With both my prior pregnancies, I was a predictable 25 day cycle, so when old Aunt Flo hadn't shown up by day 26, I got positive tests.  And I'm sure that's what I *should* do now - just wait another couple of days and try again.

But, y'all know me, and that's my most unlikely response.

To be honest, I'm about 95% sure I'm pregnant. Why else would all of this be going on when my period is normally very regular and predictable, and I've never had issues like this unless I was pregnant.  BUT, I don't want to get too excited, tell my husband and my kids, and start planning for baby stuff until I get that big, fat plus sign for sure!

Anyway, I'll keep you, my loyal Phantom Readers - very regularly posted!

A Super Faint, Barely There, Not Sure If I Really Saw It Positive...

Light spotting continued off and on today, mostly off.  Nothing on the paper now, although I'm cramping up like my period should be coming.  So, I did the dumb thing and picked up another pack of pregnancy tests when I went to the store.  Second dumb thing:  I peed on the stick nearly as soon as I got home, completely ignoring the "use first morning urine" rule.

And...

I THINK...

It was positive.

Barely.

At least, I saw an extremely faint plus sign shadow kind of a thing.  I nearly threw the thing away because, of course, it showed up negative right away.  But I gave it the full two minutes on the package, and, sure enough, I'm pretty sure I saw the plus...  I even took it downstairs in better light, and the shadowy plus was still there - barely.

So tomorrow, I'll use the first morning urine (hopefully not at 3:30 this time) and try to get a more definite result.

Hmm, perhaps we're off and running....

...or perhaps I'm just a fruit loop!

So. Weirdness.

Well, I'm a bit flummoxed.  Yesterday morning, I awoke to find I had started my cycle, right on day 22, just like last month.  Attributing all my nigglings and boob issues to PMS, I dutifully handled the hygiene and went on to work.  Last night, though, I discovered that my flow hadn't really come on like normal.  In fact, there was nearly nothing there except what would've been some spotting had I not used any feminine products.  (I'm trying to say this as delicately as possible.)  What I mean is, I spotted some over several hours, then nothing else.

And that's weird.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning expecting to see my regular flow start.  Nothing.

I peed on a stick.  "Not pregnant."

So apparently, my uterus really is playing around with my mind.

On one hand, I did this same thing when I found out I was pregnant with my older boy.  I spotted for 2 or 3 days prior to getting a positive test, but no real flow.

On the other hand, I started spotting last month on cycle day 22, was positive I was preggo, then saw my period come on like usual.  But there was no stoppage in between.

Clearly, if I am pregnant, my HcG levels aren't high enough for even the Clear Blue Digital test to read them.  Sad day.

I will be wiping with great anticipation all day today (TMI, I know)  to see if anything else "flows."  Yesterday, I was sure that I had learned my new cycle, and it was going to be a predictable 22 days (as I used to be a predictable 25 days).  Today, though, I really have no idea. 

I guess if there's nothing today, I'll test again in the morning.  If nothing, I'll wait til Sunday and try again.  Something's going on, and if it isn't a pregnancy, then we have a serious issue on our hands!  LOL!

I'll keep you posted, my dear Phantom Readers!

My Boobs

So let's talk about my boobs.  For the past few days, I've gotten some twinges that have made me suspect.  Random aches or stabs here and there.  And, generally speaking, I don't usually pay that much attention to my boobs.  However, this morning, when I got up, I had this "OW!" type of stabbing pain in my left boob that lasted for probably half a minute or more before going away.  Then, it happened again but hasn't happened since.  Additionally, my boobs have seemed fuller, almost bigger, and more sensitive the last few days.  Even those little bumps you get seem irritable.

Preggo?  Maybe.

But, once again, I could be PMSing, even though my boobs generally don't bother me when I have my cycles.

AT ANY RATE, if my cycle comes at 22 days, like it did last month (shocker!), then it's due tomorrow.  If it follows my normal 25 day run, it'll show up Saturday.  So, basically, if it shows up anytime between now and Saturday, we'll have our answer.  If not, sounds like I'll be (legitimately) peeing on a stick on Sunday!

I'll keep you, my phantom readers (since I'm not actually posting this drivel) - posted!

Stupid Sticks

So despite my best intentions, I've done it again...peed on a stick way too early and gotten (absurdly) disappointing negative results.  I know, I know.  Stupid.  There have been niggling things going on which prompted the silliness, but I should know better than to trust a test that promises "accurate results even 6 days before your missed period!"

Ugh.  I think I'm over the whole thing.  I can see a tiny bit now how infertility can make someone crazy and desperate.  No, I don't think I'm infertile just because we haven't been successful in two whole months of trying.  I can just see how this can quickly become an obsession.

At any rate, my period isn't even due for another 3 or 4 days, so we'll see how things go then.

Developments? Or, Maybe Not...

So yesterday, I'm sitting at work, minding my own business, when I am suddenly hit with some very uncomfortable, very noticeable, period like cramps.  Since my period isn't due for at least another week, this was noteworthy.  The cramping continued off and on for a few hours, and they were painful enough to make me wince.  Now normally, I have very regular, 25 day periods with very minor cramping.  Rarely do I even need ibuprofen.  But yesterday, I was tempted to take some because these cramps were just "Ow, ow, ow!"  I seriously went to the bathroom a couple of times expecting to see my period.

Does this mean we've been successful this month?  Or unsuccessful?  Or is my uterus just thumbing its nose at me altogether and playing a cruel joke just because it can?  I will say that I almost never have uterine cramps except during my cycle, and even those are quite mild and infrequent.

So, there's that.  As I've got another week left before my period is due, and quite a busy weekend planned, I don't plan to worry with it too much.

Oh, I had my annual ob/gyn visit this week.  Doctor says everything looks fine, and she's perfectly OK with us trying for one more baby, even though I'm of "advanced maternal age."  Like, seriously advanced.  I did tell her, though, that I will only try for another few cycles, and if we aren't successful, I'll be back in for the old tying of the tubes.

I guess we'll see.  I hope y'all have (or had, whenever you read this) a great Mother's Day weekend.  I plan to enjoy the heck out of my beautiful, healthy kids!

Obsession Adverse

Well, I guess we're officially in the two week wait again....longest two weeks ever, LOL!  Our baby making activities were curtailed again this month due to schedules, fatigue, and kids, but we did manage a couple of attempts.  We'll see if we timed things right. 

This month, though, I'm not going to obsess over it.  Although I would absolutely LOVE to have been successful, and to once again be planning for the pitter patter (and poo) of a new addition, I really am OK either way.  With work and all of the end of school year activities going on, I doubt I'm going to have much time to worry with it anyway!  We shall see what we shall see!

Cycle Day 9

Well, I guess I'm on what's called cycle Day 9.  According to ovulation calendars, my little eggies should be dropping any day now.  Since I have no idea what my cycle is doing, Hubby and I are just trying the hit or miss method.  I think our little stomach virus bug killed our chances last month, and so far, there's just been zero time or energy to even think about trying.  But who knows?  Perhaps we'll figure something out between now and zero hour, aka:  missing the egg drop totally.  If so, cool.  If not, well, we've got four more cycles to go!  I refuse to stress about it like I've done the last several weeks.  It's easy to say I'm trusting God, but not so easy to DO, when I want to arrange everything how I want it. 

We'll see...